Gomenesai
by Camasido
Summary: You never apreciate something till it's gone.." Cliche, but true. As Sasuke just realized. Sasunaru, and contains hints of Kakairu .


Self-deception: 'Wow, can't believe my first real fanfic happened because of an English assignment. I was to write a gothic short story, so I wrote a tragic romance story based on sasunaru. I messed around with some of the facts from the original story...'

Sasuke: ' Thet's because you're an idiot'

Self Deception: '... And you're a plain bastard. And I wondered why I made you such a horrible person in the story... *_grins evilly_* Too bad I made Naruto face the brunt of it. Oh and could you...'

Sasuke: *_growls_* 'Naruto and the rest of us don't belong to Self-Deception, I don't care how much she hates that fact... NARUTO IS **MINE**!'

Self Deception: *sweatdrops* '...Possessive much?...Anyways, the story is rushed, messed up (a bit) and basically written for people who had no idea about anything Naruto... So yes if the dead seem to walk in my story, please excuse me *bows*, anyways... Here goes'

* * *

"_**W**hy Sasuke? Why can't you come back? Back to Kanoha, back home?" _Naruto's voice asking the same questions over & over again like a broken record in Sasukes head. And his face, tear stained, his bright sapphire-like eyes, darkened. Dulled with by sadness, by pain, by betrayal. Because of Sasuke. Shaking his head Sasuke thought, 'No, I can't let him keep haunting me this way, he's not important enough, nothings as important as killing Itachi. It'll just prevent me from being strong enough to kill my elder brother & avenge my clan.' Suddenly, his current teacher, Orochimaru's voice breaks Sasuke out of his reverie, "Let's see how far you've come Sasuke, you're to duel Isamu here." Raising his head, Sasuke takes in the dark dome they are standing in, a little light filters in letting him see the Sound Ninja standing in front of him, waiting for him to attack. Both knew Orochimaru was somewhere in the shadows along with, along with his right hand man, Kabuto & quiet a few snakes whose glassy eyes glistened in the dim light. Sasuke sets his eyes on the Nin in front of him. Making a few hand signs the Sound Nin whispers his jutsu to himself and runs towards Sasuke. Concentrating Chakra to his feet Sasuke darts away, evading the Ninja and in a flash stands behind him and starts a flurry of Chakra enhanced attacks. Soon Isamu was on the ground, out cold; Sasuke loomed over him then stalked off out of the dome. Orochimaru emerged from the shadows; a smirk across his snake-like face, flanked by Kabuto his glasses glinting in the light, "Looks like you still haven't learnt to kill you opponents Sasuke." Turning around to glare at him, Sasuke growled out, "I'm only bothered about killing Itachi, the rest are a waste of time."

Sitting in the silence of his room Sasuke lets his gaze wander, coming to rest on a Kanoha headband lying on his bed. Picking it up he stares out of his window in to the rain. His mind wanders to the time Naruto tried to stop him from leaving Kanoha. _"Why do you have to leave Sasuke? You can stay here & train to become strong enough to defeat Itachi in Kanoha too. I'll help, everyone will help you damn it, there's no need to go that snake to gain power. You can't go Sasuke, you can't leave Kanoha behind, it's your home, it's Our home. You can't leave us all behind, leave me behind. I love you, you know that. Why won't you just stay?" "Kanoha isn't my home Naruto. It never was. Not after what Itachi did. You have no idea what it's like to come back to that huge empty house day after day. What it's like to be alone, to have everyone you loved ripped away from you. To have your family killed especially by the one person you looked up to the most. Go away, go back to Kanoha. I'm not going back." They stood there across each other covered in blood & sweat, Naruto's face tear streaked, Sasuke's impassive & stoic as usual. They move in ready to attack each other, "I don't care how I'm going to take you back to Kanoha Sasuke even if it's with you out cold". Glaring Sasuke evades another attack; kicking Naruto in the chest he says "You think you can lay a scratch on me dead- last?" Both make the required hand signs and rush in towards each other, Sasuke growling 'Chidori' his hand covering in blue electricity, Naruto shouting 'Rasengan' a ball of concentrated chakra energy & wind forming in his hand. Sasuke hits Naruto in the chest, & almost evades Naruto's attack but gest hit on the shoulder. They both land a few feet away their headbands flying off. Shaking Sasuke gets up & goes towards Naruto. Bleeding profusely Naruto struggles to not lose consciousness, "Don't go Sasuke, please don't. I love you, don't leave, please." "Well I don't. I can't. Nothing's more important than my goal. And you're nothing more than a distraction. How can anyone love a demon anyways? Isn't the Kyuubi in you the only reason why you're strong enough to attack anything?" One more punch Naruto is knocked out cold. Sasuke turns away and looks at the two headbands lying on the ground. He picks them up & drops his own near Naruto holding on to Naruto's headband he turns his back on him & walks away to Otogakure, the Sound village._

Watching the headband glint in the dull light Sasuke thinks to himself, "I was such an idiot to say all that, being stuck here without Naruto is worse than hell, but I can't go back can I? Kanoha won't let me in & I don't think Naruto would forgive me after all of that. I wish I could at least see him once." Sasuke gets into bed with a sigh & tries to sleep hoping to get away from the thoughts of the blonde haunting his mind. But the thoughts plague his dreams as well. He dreams of being back in Kanoha, with Naruto. 'Both of them happy, together, but suddenly everything darkens & Sasuke's alone in the darkness of his mind. He hears something behind him & turns around, only to see his elder brother, Itachi holding a kunai knife to Naruto's throat. Itachi smirks & with a glint of metal he lets go. A strangled gasp, blood splatters onto the ground and Naruto falls-.' Sasuke wakes up shivering & sweating. "No Naruto! …… W- What w-was t-that? Why do I suddenly feel like something's really wrong? Something to do with Naruto?!" Reaching out he brings Naruto's headband close. Suddenly he gets flashback after flashback of his life in Kanoha. All with him & Naruto. Except they steadily get more & more depressing. All with him never looking as if he cared even a bit about his own lover, best friend, everything. The one person who truly loved him. Looking out into the rain & lightening he thinks about him & Naruto. "I always was rough with you wasn't I Naruto? Heh, even in bed. God how I miss you. It hurts, not having you around. Your smile, your laugh, they way you felt, the way you smelt, the way you tasted I miss it all. You were what kept me alive & I never realized it till now but, now I've lost you. It hurts so bad." Bending over double Sasuke let the tears flow, all the pent up anger & sadness. Suddenly another memory came to his mind.

"_What the hell Sasuke I know the mission didn't go well but that's no reason sit and slowly get drunk!" "Shut up Naruto! Just shut up! And let me be!" "You expect me to just sit there & watch you slowly get even drunker still by the minute?" "Shut up Naruto or I'll make you" "You can hardly think or walk straight anymore Sasuke!" Sasuke growled in anger & threw the bottled away, hearing it smash somewhere behind him. He growled & lunged at Naruto slamming him against the wall by his neck._

"Oh God, I raped him that night didn't I? No wonder he wouldn't look me in the eye for nearly a month & all those bruises he kept brushing off as mission injuries. Even after all that he still wanted me to stay." He fell back on his bed & curled up into himself, willing the memories to go away. "I can't go on like this. I thought life was bad in Kanoha, but I can't go on like this away from Naruto. I need him." And he lay there curled up as though trying to shield himself from the onslaught of memories. He rolls over onto his back and stares at the black ceiling. "I have to go back right now, I don't care if they kill me for being a traitor to the village, as long as I get to see Naruto for even a minute & let him now I'm sorry," Getting up he straps his katana onto his back, grabs Naruto's headband & ties it around his neck. He masks his chakra & silently slips out of his room & makes his way down the hallway, ears strained for any noise. He hears Orochimaru & Kabuto's smug voices from behind a door & pauses to hear what they were so happy about. "So you **will** take over Sasuke's body in a week Lord Orochimaru?" "Yes Kabuto, there's nothing that can stop me now from taking over him now" But didn't you tell him you'll help him kill his brother?" "I lied, there's no way I'm letting my future vessel get killed by that Uchiha, he's way too strong especially with his bloodline limit stronger than Sasuke's" "What about the Kyuubi brat? Naruto? Won't he keep coming back to get Sasuke?" "That boy will never trouble us again" "You don't mean you-" "Yes Kabuto, the last time he tried to get Sasuke back I had about a hundred of our ninjas ambush him when Sasuke left the are . Already drained of majority of him chakra that brat didn't have a chance against a hundred of our strongest." "What did you do with his body?" "Ah Kabuto, I know you would have liked to experiment with what was left but, I had the Uchiha symbol carved into his chest and left outside Kanoha gates" " I can Imagine the ruckus it may have caused amongst most of them, though a few must've been happy to see the demon container dead." "True, true"

Seething with anger Sasuke slammed open the door immediately threw chakra infused kunais at Kabuto. "What th-" Kabuto & Orochimaru's head immediately whipped around the second the door slammed open but Kabuto's question died in his throat as five kunais pierced his body, one of them stabbing him straight through the heart. Orochimaru's eyes narrowed as he saw Kabuto fall & immediately called out his snakes & turned to face Sasuke. Sasuke glared at him, "You killed Naruto?" "Yes I believe I did. It Was necessary" "God damn you Orochimaru, Now you're going to die." "I'm the one who made you stronger Sasuke; you really believe you can defeat me?" "You really believe I can't? You don't have any idea how powerful I really am." With those words he suddenly moved disappearing from in front of Orochimaru & appearing behind him. Before Orochimaru could retaliate, Sasuke whispered 'Chidori' & thrust his katana covered with blue electricity, through Orochimaru. After Sasuke was sure, Orochimaru was dead he pulled his katana out of him, wiped it on Orochimarus robes & stalked of towards the hidden village of leaf, Kanoha.

It took him two hours to get there, but soon he was in front of the gates of Kanoha hidden in the dark the steady rain washing away his lone tears. He looked for a moment when he could get in unnoticed by the guards that patrolled the perimeter of the village. Making a shadow clone of himself he led most of the guards away from the gate towards the other direction. He managed to get past the two remaining guards into the village. Since it was still nighttime it was easier to go past unnoticed by the few people who still roamed the streets of the village, he made his view towards the Hero's Memorial, where the names of Kanoha ninjas who died in battle are etched in stone to be remembered forever, which sat at the edge of the village cemetery. Standing in front of the 3 foot high stone he scanned the names on the dim light of the lamps near the memorial. Reaching the end he saw Narutos name etched there. Immediately a searing pain went through his chest & he sat there holding his chest tears silently running down his face. "Oh god Naruto I'm so sorry, this happened because of my obsession with getting revenge. I lost you trying to get revenge for the death of my clan. You died trying to protect me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Sasuke got up & stumbled around reading the names on the headstones till he finally reached the one he was looking for. A few paces away from the memorial lay a gravestone with the Uzumaki swirl on it and the words 'UZUMAKI-NAMIKAZE NARUTO' etched on it.

Taking out a kunai Sasuke cut his finger & watched it bleed for a while, flinching he wrote out something on the stone and leaned back to look at it all. He bought his lips close to the engraving of Naruto's names & whispered "If I can't see you while I'm living, I'll follow you in Death just to see you again." Gripping the Kunai in his right hand he made various slashes across his left arm, making sure he dragged it down the entire length in the end. He sat there watching the blood pour out, & soon was lost in his memories. _Naruto's face splitting into a wild grin when he came back from a mission. Naruto smiling at him when he & Sasuke trained in the old training grounds. Naruto happily humming to himself as he danced around the kitchen making dinner for himself & Sasuke. Naruto trying to catch his breath, lying under Sasuke, naked whispering "I Love You" before falling asleep. Naruto with a determined look on his face as he tells Sasuke he's going to bring Sasuke back. _

And with that Sasuke slipped into darkness falling onto his side on Naruto's grave his last words coming out as a whisper to the wind, "I love you Naru... to…"

The next morning Narutos ex – teacher and guardian, Umino Iruka, made his way to Naruto's grave holding onto his lover Hatake Kakashi, Naruto & Sasuke's teacher, and a red rose with an orange ribbon tied around it. Seeing something on Narutos grave from a distance they both hurried towards it. Only to see Sasuke, dead, in what was a pool of his own blood some of it washed around by the previous nights rain & the words 'I'm Sorry; Gomenasai till the end' scrawled on the gravestone in blood.

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Gomenasai – 'I'm sorry' (In a very respectful way) in Japanese

Sasuke: 'That was horrible'

Self-Deception: 'Yes I know.. But it got me the 98% I needed...'

Sauke: 'I hate you'

Self-Deception: *_glomps Sasuke_* 'And I love you...'

Sasuke: *_sweatdrops_* 'What the fuck have you been smokin woman?!?!'

Self-Deception: *_goes of to sulk_*

Sasuke: *_sigh_* 'Just review you all' *_walks of to reason with S-D_*


End file.
